Week Five of Gail McMeekin's 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women.
Honestly, the only real reason I'm here today is through re-reading the Portfolio Project's manifesto - fast and dirty. dirty and fast. That's the opposite of what I seem to be doing. I don't write. Yes, my kids were sick this past week (and will be the week to come), but you can always write something, no? This is a niggly little problem that is actually gigantic and I don't think will be going away too soon. But hopefully I'll keep getting a gentle kick in the pants that will keep me stumbling towards doing some kind of creating.
It's not a problem with self-focus per se, but of self-love. Can I stand to be stupid, write mediocre things, be ugly sometimes? Even really ugly? It seems not really yet. So I keep waiting for the heavens to descend, and my loveliest writing to be ready to flow from my fingertips. I'm going to try giving that up, and keep exercising the fast and dirty approach to making art. Fast. Dirty. and Me. Where does that leave more considered approaches? Better writing through effort and more time? Not sure. Right now I may just have to keep starting the engine to keep the darn thing moving, and worry about where it's going later.
Not that I haven't been doing any creating - I've been busy knitting! Oh, I'm loving it. I keep trying to think of ways I can get some in. While the kids are watching a movie? While reading a blog? I'm making my first hat, racing against the winter to try to get it on my son's head to replace the one I don't like that he's wearing, before the cold goes away. Wish me luck. I'm so happy - he wore the scarf I made him to school today - and it looked pretty good!