Monday, January 26, 2009
Week Three - Following your fascinations
Week Three of 12 Secrets of Highly Creative Women got me thinking about intuition and bravery in my life. I've been fighting my intuition lately. I know we all do sometimes. It goes something like this: I have an image of what I want my life to look like right now, what I want to spend my time and money on, and it seems to be about being/becoming a great somatic therapist, travelling, spending more time painting, knitting, writing, singing, dancing, and making real connections with others. But a scared part of me wants to mess with that. Wants to insert a degree somewhere in there. Wants to make me a "better" person, that is, someone with more social status. Many people I know have graduate degrees and I DON'T! Also, school historically has been a place of greater safety and visibility for me, and I don't want to feel that I don't have that as an option. Why can't I want to have more degrees?, the scared part wrings its hands. And it keeps thinking of degrees I might want to do to entice me. But a part of me knows what it wants. And doesn't give a fig for social status, or safety (can't buy that anyhow). I keep following the path of what smells, looks, and feels right to try. And it will keep on developing, and changing. But I have to keep following it. Perhaps the greater strides I take on the path that is calling me, whatever is calling me, the softer the scared clutching will become.